The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
