Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
