worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
