I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
