I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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