11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
