I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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