You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
