I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize