I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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