Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
