Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
