I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
