She's JV to your varsity
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
