She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
