You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
