i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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