So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
