i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What a dumb baby whore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
