So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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