i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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