So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
