I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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