yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
