How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
