went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
