She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
