OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
