Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
my poor anus
My vagina is very pro this idea
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
