I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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