How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
