Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
