THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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