We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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