I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
