Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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