after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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