you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
