Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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