drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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