there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
