You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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