Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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