i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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