Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
