On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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