i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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