Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
