is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
