; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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