so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
