Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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