Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
