Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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