So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
How's work?
Spinning.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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