tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
