True but thats because hes a fetus.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
