We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize