i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
