i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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