The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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