hotel room ftw
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
