I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
