When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
